Transcripts: of Congress core group meeting that lead to Anna’s release

Just hours after the arrest of Anna Hazare, a nation takes to the streets protesting against the strong hand tactics of the government. Shaken by the people’s response,  senior Congress leaders urgently convene a meeting at 10 Janpath to decide the course of action. Seen sitting around the conference room, in the midst of heated discussions are Kapil Sibal, P Chidambaram, Pranab Mukherjee and Digvijay Singh. Dr. Singh is watching them with a wooden expression. Rahul Gandhi is seen slouched in his chair looking utterly bored. Oblivious to the rest of the room is Manish Tewari, who is sitting in a corner, picking his nose with ardent enthusiasm.

Kapil Sibal: Ok, guys, thanks to our Madrasi genius here (points at Chidambaram), we are in deep shit.

Chidambaram slumps deeper in his chair and sulks

Pranab Mukherjee (barely hiding his glee): Yesh Chiddu, dish is bad, whot were you thinking, dumb fellow? Jails are overflowing. Shtreets are fool of peepal.

Chidambaram (perks up): Umm…  I have a suggestion there… To make space at Tihar, why don’t we release Kalmadi, Raja, Kanimozhi and the other people over there?

Kapil Sibal: Enough of your genius ideas man. Can we now focus on the steps ahead? One by one, please give me ideas.

Dr. Manmohan Singh: I think…

Digvijay Singh (interrupts): Why don’t we have Rahul Baba embark on another padyatra in UP and get arrested by Mayawati? Then maybe people will get distracted.

Kapil Sibal: Er… no offense to Rahul Baba. But people in UP also have to support him, right? What if no one gives a shit? People in UP seem to be content with Mayawati’s land acquisition policies. Mayawati may not even arrest Rahul which would be an even bigger insult.

The leaders nod gravely

Pranab Mukherjee (with sudden enthusiasm): My misshush hash made shome oshome roshogullas and mishti dohi. We can tempt Annaji and break hish fasht (winks)

Dr. Manmohan Singh: But…

Manish Tewari (interrupts): I think we should build on my statement to the media the other day and attack Anna further. Check out the statement I have prepared. (stands up) “Annaji (pauses) is steeped in corruption. (pauses). According to a High Court report (pauses) he has allegedly used 2 lakh crores of public money for his own purposes…

Digvijay Singh (coughs delicately): Um… Manish, …  2 lakhs, not 2 Lakh crores. Don’t confuse him with us.

Manish Tewari: Oops.. sorry.. got a little excited, used to dealing with crores only (grins sheepishly)

Dr. Manmohan Singh: I think…

Kapil Sibal (throws up his hands in frustration): 2 lakhs? This is a bloody joke! This is so difficult yaar! How much mud can we throw on him? The guy has given us nothing to work with. He lives in a temple for God’s sake. Has no assets. Has no hidden agenda. What the hell do we do? He is after all an aam aadmi !

At this point, Rahul Gandhi, who had hitherto not participated in the discussion at all, suddenly perks up.

“WHAT?” he exclaims, looking at Sibal. “Anna Hazare is an aam aadmi?”

Kapil Sibal looks back blankly, unsure of how to react. Rahul Gandhi leaps from his chair.

“IS THIS TRUE?” he thunders, his gaze sweeping across every face in the room“ANNA HAZARE IS AN AAM AADMI???”

A shattering silence descends on the room.

—-

Minutes later, the government issues an order to release Anna Hazare. Unofficial reports also suggest that Rahul Gandhi is expected to ring up Anna Hazare and request him to call off his protest and return to his home, so that he can personally visit his village, listen to his issues and possibly spend a night at his home as well.